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Funny Bones =];-)

 
This page is solely dedicated to healthcare
 
 
humor and the pursuit of laughter!
 

Pre-Telemedicine Training For Seniors!!!!!!!!

posted Sep 15, 2011 5:52 PM by Poly A Endrasik Jr

General Practitioner and A Specialist

posted Aug 5, 2011 2:37 PM by Poly A Endrasik Jr

What's the difference between a general practitioner and a specialist? 

One treats what you have, 
the other thinks you have what he treats.
 

Pull The Plug

posted Dec 20, 2010 7:26 PM by Poly A Endrasik Jr

The other night my wife and I were sitting in the den and I said to her, "I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependant on some machine and fluids from a bottle to keep me alive. That would be no quality of life at all, if that ever happens, just pull the plug!"
 
So she got up, unplugged my computer and threw out my beer!

Patience (groaner!)

posted Nov 6, 2010 8:08 AM by Poly A Endrasik Jr

A man rushed into a busy doctor's office and shouted, "Doctor! I  think
I'm shrinking!"
 
The doctor calmly responded, "Now, settle down.  You'll
just have to be a little patient."

A Short Neurological Test

posted Sep 15, 2010 7:35 AM by Poly A Endrasik Jr

1- Find the C below.. Please do not use any cursor help.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

2- If you already found the C, now find the 6 below.

99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
69999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999

3 - Now find the N below. It's a little more difficult.

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMNMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

This is NOT a joke. If you were able to pass these 3 tests, you can cancel your annual visit to your neurologist. Your brain is great and you're far from having a close relationship with Alzheimer. Congratulations!  
 
eonvrye that can raed this rsaie your hnad.

Next, Can you raed the following? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can.

I cdnuolt blveiee that I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd what I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in what oerdr the ltteres in a word are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is that the frsit and last ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can still raed it whotuit a pboerlm. This is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the word as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

Cardiolgist's Funeral

posted Jun 26, 2010 9:49 AM by Poly A Endrasik Jr   [ updated Jun 26, 2010 6:12 PM ]

A very prestigious cardiologist died, and was given a very elaborate funeral by the hospital he worked for most of his life.
 
A huge heart... covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service as all the doctors from the hospital sat in awe.
 
Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket was rolled inside.
 
The heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever.                                                  
                                                                          
At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter.
 
When all eyes stared at him, he said, 'I am so sorry, I was just thinking of my own     
funeral.... I'm a gynecologist.'                                          
                                                                          
The proctologist fainted.

Actual Doctors' Notes On Patient Charts

posted Jun 9, 2010 4:38 AM by Poly A Endrasik Jr

Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

On the 2nd day the knee was better and on the 3rd day it disappeared completely.

She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.

The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1993.

The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.

Discharge status: Alive but without permission.

The patient refused an autopsy.

The patient has no past history of suicides.

Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.

Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

She is numb from her toes down.

While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.

Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid.

She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.

The pelvic examination will be done later on the floor.

Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

Pakeokd kplmnbf is fjehsgf fhfhly wesvkling.

Pharmaceutical Advertising in Doctor's Office

posted May 28, 2010 7:29 PM by Poly A Endrasik Jr

 

 Chinese doctor say: "If light stay on for more than 4 hours, call your erectrician."

Veins

posted May 8, 2010 3:56 AM by Poly A Endrasik Jr

I entered a contest for the most prominent veins.
 
I didn't win but I came varicose.

- Unknown

AAADD - Know the Symptoms

posted May 2, 2010 7:07 AM by Poly A Endrasik Jr

Thank goodness there's a name for this disorder.
Somehow I feel better even though I have it!!

Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D.
Age Associated Attention Deficit Disorder.

This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden.
As I turn on the hose in the driveway,
I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.

As I start toward the garage,
I notice mail on the porch table that
I brought up from the mail box earlier.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.
I lay my car keys on the table,
put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table,
and notice that the can is full.

So I decide to put the bills back on the table & take out the garbage first.
But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox
when I take out the garbage anyway,
I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my check book off the table,
and see that there is only one check left.
My extra checks are in my desk in the study,
so I go inside the house to my desk where
I find the can of Pepsi I'd been drinking.

I'm going to look for my checks,
but first I need to push the Pepsi aside
so that I don't accidentally knock it over.
The Pepsi is getting warm.
 I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.
As I head toward the kitchen with the Pepsi,
a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye.
They need water.
I put the Pepsi on the counter and
discover my reading glasses that
I've been searching for all morning.

I decide I better put them back on my desk,
but first I'm going to water the flowers.
I set the glasses back down on the counter,
fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote
someone had left it on the kitchen table.

I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV,
I'll be looking for the remote,
but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table,
so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs..
But first I'll water the flowers.
I pour some water in the flowers.
Quite a bit of it spills on the floor.
So, I set the remote back on the table,
get some towels and wipe up the spill.

Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day:
the car isn't washed
the bills aren't paid
there is a warm can of
Pepsi sitting on the counter
the flowers don't have enough water,
there is still only 1 check in my check book,
I can't find the remote,
I can't find my glasses,
and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.

Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done,
I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all damn day,
and I'm really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem,
and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail.....

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